Things I promise to discuss at a later date

1. Our day trip to the Luberon ('twas beautiful)

2. This evening's nightclub excursion (am not cut out for such things, would prefer to spend Saturday evening in bed doing crossword)

3. French vs. American style (Lilli told us to dress to fit in, but the blisters on my feet suggest that three inch heels were a bad choice, no matter how much I blended [and i didn't, because i was pretty much hobbling within the first hour])

4. My language partner, and why I'm getting a new one

5. Some other stuff maybe. 

What I Ate

Breakfast. At home.

1 perfect soft-boiled egg

1 cup of coffee in my favorite pink cup

Lunch. At school. 

1 salad, consisting of mesclun, fresh avocado, and a few chunks of creamy goat cheese

1 hunk of bread from the corner bakery (with some Nutella on the side for dessert)

1 glass of white wine

Apéritif. At local café/bar.

Several sips of mulled wine with cinnamon and citrus fruits

Some olives

Dinner. At a wonderful mystery restaurant with a ceiling painted like the night sky. 

1 glass of champagne

1 order of tagliatelle with bleu cheese, sage, and walnuts

1 serving of crème brûlée

Forgive the blurs, it was so pretty I couldn't keep still. 

How Lila Got Her (Academic) Groove Back

Here's the thing: Carleton has totally slaughtered my self-confidence in school. Thanks, $48,000 a year college education!

Seriously though, majoring in an area that is not at all my strong suit means that I spend a lot of time being totally clueless and/or wrong, which in turn means that I dread going to any and all science courses for fear of total humiliation in front of my gifted fellow students.*

I've noticed more and more the past couple years that I don't like to talk in class, that I second guess myself (even when I know the answer), and that all my science-related neuroses have started carrying over to other courses as well. I know it's good to be wrong and learn humility and all, but honestly, even when I did talk in class (re: high school and all the English classes I took freshman year) I was on the lower end of the self-esteem spectrum, so I'm not worried about getting too cocky.**

(Side note: These are all pictures I took today after school. It's so beautiful here!)

That being said, I felt so good about classes today! I had Archeology, Oral and Written Expression, and Societé Française, which is a sociology/poli sci-ish class. I could go into detail about questions asked and yadda yadda, but basically: I knew answers! I know this sounds silly, but seriously, all my academic confidence has just been shredded to pieces at Carleton, and it feels really, really good to know the answers again.

Basically, today sort of reassured me. Part of the reason this was so significant to me was because I'm the student here with the least amount of experience speaking French. The base requirement is supposed to be two years, and I've had about 1 1/3, whereas a lot of other students have studied French for six or eight. So being in a class about French vocab and grammar and knowing the answers when other people don't? It definitely assuaged my fears about the coming semester.

 

I know parts will be really rough--I'm expecting it to be--but I already feel so much better in this program knowing I can hold my own in class, and honestly, you have to be right a few times before you have the courage to be wrong, so I'm hoping this will translate over to Carleton as well. 

*My gifted fellow students are part of the reason I am a geo major. They are wonderful and brilliant and so fun (even the super brilliant ones are fun underneath all their knowledge! it's true.), and I would rather be freaking out in the geo lab at 3am with twenty other people than alone in my room having a panic attack with no one to catch me if I pass out, because I seriously can't afford another concussion. These are the kinds of things I considered when choosing a major.  

**I am proud to say I no longer obsess over whether or not the reason that girl across the room has a funny look on her face is because I have cereal stuck to my shirt or my jeans are slightly too short or she noticed my frizzy hair and now doesn't want to talk to me. I'm getting more normal by the minute!

Raclette

Tonight I had the most delicious meal ever. So good. Seriously, I don't even want to describe it here because you'll just think it doesn't even sound that exciting, but really, it is. Changed my life, man. 

It is called raclette, after the french racler, which means "to scrape." Basically, you have this huge grill/heating apparatus in the center of the table. On the top level you put boiled potatoes, and on the bottom are these little indentations for the raclette pans, which are perfectly individually sized to fit a slice of raclette. 

The raclette itself is a kind of cheese, and you put a slice in the pan, stick it on the grill, and let it melt. While it's melting, you fork a potato on your plate and mash it up a bit (Catherine peeled hers but Mom always told me that's the healthiest part, and I figured in a meal consisting basically of melted cheese I should jump at the tiniest opportunity to make it healthy), then you take a stubby wooden stick and scrape the (melty and delicious) cheese over your potatoes. This is then topped with serrano ham, thinly sliced salami, and a variety of other unidentifiable but quite tasty cured meats. 

So. Good. 

(The picture is from here, and their setup looks *almost* as good as what we had going on tonight.)

(Also, I've lost seven pounds since I've been here. I'm patenting this diet, it's called "Move to France And Eat Delicious Food All The Time Like Salted Caramels and Crème Brûlée And Lots of Cheese." This is way better than the time I tried to eat grape nuts for breakfast every day. Seriously. Know how many times I've eaten grape nuts since I've been here? ZERO. That's how many.)

lazybones

It is just starting to hit me how difficult it is to speak only in French. I tried to argue a point during class today, and there is so much to say that I just don't have the vocabulary for. It is frustrating and exhausting and now I'm beat, so instead of writing about my day here are some pictures of it. 

everyone wears slippers in the house! 

luckily i have some too.

this is the coffee i drank this morning. it was delicious. 

also, that is how it looks straight out of the mysterious coffee appliance--no milk or anything!

this is my desk, and le chien. 

Happy Sunday!

I have lots of reading to do, but in the meantime I leave you with this, which is my favorite song as of about ten hours ago when it was on the radio.

(I would like to dedicate this to the boy who as of today has been putting up with all my antics/loving me in spite of them for two years. )

Important Lessons.

I lied. I can't stop. There is so much going on here, and to resist discussing every detail is a lot harder than you'd think.

Today I slept in since I didn't have class until 11, and I walked to the corner bakery and had a pain au chocolat for breakfast. Blah blah class etc., then I walked down to the Cours Mirabeau (the main drag) with some friends to get crêpes for lunch. 

I have already eaten plenty of crêpes here--Capucine makes particularly good ones, so I've had crêpes for dinner at least twice and for breakfast three times. My favorite so far was one Catherine made, with eggs, ham, and gruyère...also, I love le saucisson (which literally means sausage, but is more like what we'd think of as salami) so when I saw a crêpe on the menu with saucisse, eggs, and gruyère, I was pretty much the happiest girl in Aix (um, how was I a vegetarian?).

If you are ever in France, let me clarify one thing: just because two words are almost exactly the same does not mean they signify the same thing. The saucisses on my crêpe this afternoon were, in fact, four overcooked hot dogs sliced lengthwise and tucked in with the cheese and eggs. Bon appétit?

It's okay though, because yesterday I mentioned offhandedly to my host mom that I love foie gras, so for dinner tonight we had several crusty baguettes with a mini-buffet of foie gras, smoked salmon, and salted butter (the butter here is fattier, which also means more delicious), and about a bottle and a half of white wine. All this was spread on the coffee table, and we ate it while watching the French version of Wheel of Fortune. 

Lilli gave us a bunch of lectures this week about how different the French are and what a major cultural adjustment we're all going through, particularly in terms of mealtimes. In some areas this is definitely true, but living with my host family has been pretty comfortable thus far. 

Tonight I had a three hour conversation with my host mom (in French!) talking about Minnesota vs. North Carolina, the moodiness of teenage daughters, politics in France and America, welfare, panhandlers, and being in a culture different from your own (when she was a student she spent a year studying in Seattle so she gets it). She was talking about me living with them, and demanded to know why I never opened the fridge. 

"Um...Lilli told us not to...she said in France, you wait for things to be offered, and I didn't want to be rude..." 

"Mais non! We are French, but we are not so French. If you are hungry, you eat. If you are thirsty, you take something to drink. You are another daughter here!"

Catherine went on to say how she was glad things are turning out so well, and to always be honest and assertive and not feel like I have to tiptoe around the house. 

"If you want to do something else and not eat here, just tell me. If you want to go out with friends, go out with friends. There will be ups and downs. If you want to cry, you can cry here or you can cry in your room. You can come talk to me or not. You are like a daughter, but it is important that you know you have freedom."

Tonight was a little bit perfect.